Learning to be me….

So this August I turned 30. I know that this shouldn’t seem like a big deal to someone who has been married for four years and has a two year old but it had been playing on my mind for months Screen Shot 2016-09-13 at 3.28.06 p.m..png– there is no denying that you’re an adult when you’re 30.

I started reminiscing about my 20s and how much fun they were. University in Limerick and in Dublin, the nights out, the holidays, the craic, the going to Coppers and staying out until dawn. It didn’t matter that I got married or became a mother…  I could still do those things because I was in my 20s. Turning 30 just seemed to make me feel like I was past these things.

So I started to process this and I came to the realisation that well, I am past these things – lots of them anyway and that it’s got absolutely nothing to do with my age. I’ve always been mature for my age having so many older sisters. It’s more to do with the fact that I’m now in a different stage in my life than most 30 year olds. And do you know what? It’s wonderful!!

I’ve reflected so much on what I’ve done in my 20s and they were amazing. I’ve lived in Italy, Ireland and now the Caribbean. I got my degree and my post grad. I learned to drive, gained my independence and traveled the length and breath of the country. I travelled the world – all over Europe, to Asia and Egypt. I got my dream job straight out of college based on an internship… I take great pride in that because I got that job based on how I worked rather than statistics on a CV. Ive been headhunted in my career. I’ve walked part of the camino, skydived, been in a hot air balloon, abseiled down stadiums, climbed mountains, ran a half marathon and so much more. I’ve worked hard on a wonderful relationship that has turned into an amazing marriage and partnership and most importantly granted us both with our son, the joy in our lives and the reason for most of our belly laughs. I’ve been blessed with an amazing family. I have the best friends, ones that I will have until the end of my days on earth because for 15 years they’ve been a constant in my life and carried me through the darker times. I’ve lost my mom and my nephew and other family members in my 20s. I’ve learnt so much from their passing and will always admire their dignity and pose while being sick – something I try to remind myself of constantly. I’ve grown from those dark times.

At 30 I’ve come to realisation that I’m not perfect. I’m never going to be. I’ll probably never be C.E.O of a communications company or change the world. There’s very little that I’ll ever be able to do to change the situation in Syria or help those that need our help the most. I’ll probably never be happy with my body, hair or image. But you know what? I’m the most comfortable I’ve ever been in my own skin. I’ve stopped looking to the outside for self assurance and love. I try to only concern myself with being a good person and thinking positive thoughts for myself and about others. Negativity is something that I try to block from my world – women putting down other women, mothers dissing other mothers. If I can be a good person and surround myself with good people who care for others rather than putting them down then my world will be a happier place.

I know who I am.. I talk too much, laugh too loud, I am stubborn as hell and more opinionated than I should be. But I’m me.

My 30’s are just starting and if they’re half as eventful and fun as my 20’s then there is only good times to embrace. I’m so very lucky. There’s no need to be resentful about the things I didn’t get to do; the things I did more than make up for them and have led me to here.

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2 thoughts on “Learning to be me….

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