highsandlowsofexpatlife

It has almost been two months since we arrived to Puerto Rico and the weeks have just flown by. I’ve been busy trying to sort my life out and trying to get the necessities organised – such as somewhere to live and a car but these things have proved to be such a battle at times. Being honest I’ve thought about coming on here and blogging about news on a house that we were ready to sign a contract on and potential beautiful homes that we loved but it would have been pointless… as we have fallen at every hurdle.

I don’t  have much nice things to say about the realtors that I have come into contact with. We were ready to sign a contract on a home we were happy with and due to move in on July 1st. We heard nothing to make us think that this wasn’t the situation until the relocation company phoned us to tell us that they had arranged more viewings for us as the home owners had decided not to rent to us anymore. The realtor had shown the house to someone else and they had put in a higher offer. I was devastated. We phone other realtors and made appointments to view more properties and two of those realtors cancelled appointments within an hour of the viewings. We felt like we were being shunned because the realtor who was supposed to be looking for us and was unsuccessfully sourcing options was telling them not to deal with us. Eventually we seen another home that we loved in Sabanera area which wouldn’t be available until mid September. As we are travelling home to Ireland for a few weeks soon we decided that this was our best option as we really loved the house. We asked for the contract. And then we waited. And waited. Two weeks later we got a phone call to say that the owner had made a mistake with the current tenants and now the house wouldn’t be available until mid October. Bearing in mind that Rob first came here in March and began looking at houses it seems ridiculous that we still haven’t found anywhere.

A lot of the problem seems to be down to greedy realtors. One house has been available since February and Rob viewed it in March. It’s $1,000 over our budget and we have asked the owner to negotiate. It’s over priced for the area. She wont consider it. At this point she would have made up the difference for the duration of a potential tenancy but still won’t budge on it. It just doesn’t make financial sense!

Anyway, as I sit here tonight we are waiting to hear if another house is going to be an option for us. I’m over getting stressed about it. If this house comes through then that will be amazing and we can move in the end of August. If not, then it wasn’t meant to be. We will stay in our temporary accommodation until October and take the house in Sabanera. I’m leaving this one to fate to decide. Whatever happens, it will be the home that we were  meant to live in.

On to the car hunt. We thought this would be a simple job. One day should do it! We went on a Saturday morning with baby in tow on the route 2 and seen how many dealers there were and thought yes, we can pick up something easy! WRONG! We drove and stopped at almost every dealer from Dorado to the other side of Arrecibo. First of all it’s not easy to do with a baby and second of all its so difficult to know who to trust. We weren’t taking out finance on a car so wanted to buy something a couple of years old with low mileage that hadn’t been crashed. Everyone was pushy and bumping up prices and trying to force us into taking finance. We went home with a tired and cranky  baby and we were exhausted. So, we were to venture again the next Saturday and decided to leave Michael with the sitter and to drive the other direction to San Juan. It was in a dealer in Bayamon that I spotted a lovely Mitsubishi ASX Sport – its a crossover, not quite the big SUV but not a saloon. Nice and high off the road for the pot holes and speed bumps! This car needed to be serviced so we asked the dealer to do that and we would come back and test drive it then. We went to another Mitsubishi dealer and asked did they have one.  They did but brought us to a Nissan dealer to view it… but they spent 40 minutes on the phone calling other dealers trying to find one and then pretended that they had it the whole time. However it got there, it was beautiful! And we put in an offer and the salesman accepted it and we shook hands. We went to go and sign the paperwork and we takes a call from someone who said that he needs to sell it for $2000 more than we had agreed. At this point we left, just annoyed that he had agreed to something without the authority to do it. We went home shocked that another day had passed and we hadn’t bought anything.

Another Saturday, another day on route 2 while we both would rather be at home with our child. We had pre arranged viewings with a number of dealers to look at ASX models and most didn’t have the cars that they said that they did on the phone. One produced a Mitsubishi Lancer and told me that it was that car that I had called him about and another tried to sell me a 2011 as a 2013 model. Thankfully I had done a carfax report and knew when to leave. So, in the end we had to swallow our pride and go back and pay the extra $2000 for the one we had seen the previous week. It was a bit of an ordeal but we got there in the end and at least now I can leave the house! Freedom is certainly great when you have a baby that is teething and not sleeping and is feeling cooped up in the house.

Having mobility has allowed me to get around and meet some people. We have a lovely sitter that takes Michael on a Saturday night after we put him to bed so we have been lucky to get out together for dinner and drinks and to be able to do the same with other couples and try to make friends. I’ve met some great Mom’s with kids similar ages (some are actually Irish), so that has been a blessing. It seems that your close friends here become your honorary family – the people that are your support system when you need something. I’m looking forward to seeing how those relationships progress over the coming months.

While parts of getting set up have been difficult and frustrating, all in all I’ve enjoyed it so far. I love being at home with Michael, he has gotten so big and grown up in such a short space of time. In the past two weeks he is crawling, standing, waving, giving hi 5’s, climbing and in general is just a joy to be around. It’s great that he is progressing and amazing to be at home to see it! We have more of a routine now which involves me getting to workout during his morning nap when we are at home on those days and read and sun bathe during the afternoon nap. I’m very grateful for that time for myself. We go to pool here in the complex at the weekends and during the weeks sometimes and  spend more time together as a family than we would probably get at home in Ireland. I’ve started with a personal trainer twice a week which is an outlet to get out of the house and have some time alone. Michael has a sitter for those two hours and he loves her!

Rob had the first week in July off and unfortunately while we had planned on leaving Dorado and seeing more of Puerto Rico it didn’t happen. We were busy setting up bank accounts and buying the car and getting set up with phones, registering with Costco and then I got sick. Then Rob got sick. Then Michael. We were disappointed not to get more time to explore during that week but it was nice having some extra family time. I think Rob went back to work for the break as he realized how hard it is to be at home with an almost 1 year old and how much work they are. I had heard stories about safety elements here and while last week in Dorado there were two carjacking incidents at our local petrol/gas station we feel that once you have your wits about you and are careful it is a very safe place to live. My debit card has been stolen and my credit card duplicated though. Which is more of a huge inconvenience as they’re from my Irish bank account.

We go home to Ireland next week and it will be great to see family and friends. We have an action planned trip ahead which includes a birth, a wedding, Michael’s first birthday, our wedding anniversary, a baptism, a joint birthday party for 30 1 year olds, wedding dress shopping with one of my oldest friends and the first anniversary since my Mum passed away. The past year has gone by so quickly, she would have been looking forward to us coming home and seeing her grandson. We arrive at 9am into Ireland and I know if she was there she would be at the airport to meet us and breakfast on the table for when we got to the house.

So there you have it. The past two months hasn’t seen much progression but this oven that we call home is starting to feel less like a strange place and more normal. I’m looking forward to having a home and putting down some roots so that we can enjoy this experience more and feel more at home!

The first week was hard. I’ll admit it. So I decided this week that something had to change. I would have to expect less from this and go with it. Like I said, consistency isn’t strong here. I have to expect that to have a “normal” new life here and to get normal things done, it’s going to take time.

So, the plan of action… Gain independence. To do this I need a car. I cant buy  a car until I have sold my car in Ireland, have obtained a social security number and a bank account here. None of these things have happened and all take their own time so plan b, lease a car. This is an expensive option. For two weeks for a small car it’s going to be $500. But that’s the price of my sanity at the moment. I can’t do another two weeks at home without having the option of running out for milk. Being at home for 14 hours of the  day on my own with Michael was never going to be easy but I need to be able to get around.

Next problem… I’ve never driven an automatic and they drive on the right hand side of the road. Which just all feels wrong. Rob brought me out on Saturday in his car so I could try and get used to it. It was ok but so nerve wracking. They drive like lunatics here so that doesn’t help… Red lights mean nothing. That’s  when the lights are actually working! So Tuesday will be the day that we go and pick up a car and I get to do it on my own. Honestly, feels like I’m starting to learn to drive for the first time again. Scary.

The mosquitos haven’t gotten bored of me yet. I had another trip to a pharmacist on Saturday as my leg was so swollen I could barely bend it. I’ll spare ye the details but it aint pretty. I think I’ll be wearing long skirts for a while to cover the scars. I’ve an amazon delivery on the way with everything you can think of to attack the feckers so I’m hoping next week will be better.

We are also learning here that everything is expensive. Unless you only buy processed food on sale then your groceries are ridiculously expensive. $25 yesterday for two steaks… I was shocked! So that’s not an option. On a recommendation we have now ordered our meat online. Omaha Steaks online. You basically bulk buy and it comes packed with ice in a cooler. Delivery is expensive so you need to be buying a lot! We ordered enough for a month, chicken, sausages, burgers, steaks, pork chops, ribs… everything! Almost $300 worth. At least we know its good quality and we can pick and choose whats on offer. Supermarket meat here would turn me into a vegetarian and that’s saying a lot!

Also, we think there may have been a positive development on a house! We went to view a property today having no expectations. And we were shocked! The house was lovely. And just what we were looking for. So we are hoping to make an offer tomorrow to negotiate on the rent. Which by the way is also crazy expensive. You can expect to pay between $3,000-$5,000 per month in the area we are looking in.. And it doesn’t feel real.. You’re paying  for living in a secure gated community, the upkeep of the grounds, the communal pools and playgrounds… Rather than your own house. So fingers crossed they will except our offer and we will soon have a home to go to!

Michael is getting bigger by the day and his personality is coming through all the time. On Thursday he got his third tooth, learnt how to clap hands and play peekaboo with himself all on the one day!

So this week has all been about progress… taking each day at a time and trying to get one more thing organised so that we can start to call this place home! Hopefully next week we will at least have a another thing ticked off the list!!

I guess when we first started talking about this journey I turned to my good friend google. It provided me with pictures of Puerto Rico. Images that captured sandy beaches, beautiful expat homes in gated communities.. the best that this place has to offer. Google led me to other Irish people that live there and the one peace of advice that everyone had was, “It will all make sense when you’re here.”

So, armed with packed bags, a car seat and three business class tickets we left Wexford last Saturday morning. Part of me, was shocked that this was actually happening. We stopped at my Mother’s grave, tears streaming, wondering were we insane. Was this the right thing to do. I never anticipated that this feeling would actually follow me all week.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This is what we signed up. I knew the reality of leaving our family and friends but we signed up to an adventure. One that included nice weather all year round, outdoor living and  a place where I would stay at home and spend all day looking after our son, something that I was looking forward to having just gone through four months of Mammy guilt. Ya know, the guilt you get when you drop your child off with someone else, someone that they love and get so excited to see each day. It’s a great complaint but it makes you question why you’re working to pay someone else to look after your child. Someone that makes you wonder if your child prefers the childminder more than the parents.

I digress. The plane journey was LONG! We thought that being in business class, with a car seat for Michael to sleep in that it would be a smooth journey but there was just too much for him to look at. Too much going on. I think on the 7 hour flight to JFK he slept about an hour and a half. We had some laugh out loud moments, like when changing Michael in the toilet he kicked off his socks and they went down the toilet. We didn’t have a spare so we just had a bare foot baby. That’s ok, we can cope with that! The screaming with ears popping and lack of sleep… not so much. It was TOUGH! After a change over in JFK we got straight on another place to San Juan. This time he slept for about an hour and finally at 7pm US time we arrived to Puerto Rico. We waited for our luggage and the inevitable. Of course the airline lost something… the huge bugaboo bag – carrying our bugaboo buggy, Michael’s nappies, formula, black out blinds and anything else that you would describe as essential for a 9 month old.

After a 30 minute taxi to Dorado we arrived to our temporary accommodation.

At this point we were exhausted. And we were overwhelmed by the people in the house when we arrived…  the owner and two members of his family and a lady who worked in the relocation company that was organizing our move. We literally just wanted to go to bed but Michael had other ideas. He was at this point so over tired and exhausted that he just couldn’t settle. It was about to become a long night and would then be a long week.

The next day we picked up a temporary car and drove around Dorado. Everything here is drive through.. its nuts! The starbucks, the pharmacy, all the restaurants, even the bank. Crazy!

Rob started work on Monday so I was alone in the house for the first week. I hadn’t anticipated the isolation of being in a strange country with a small baby and being in a secluded area with no transport. The complex we are staying in is fine but not within walking distance of much. It gave me time to adjust to being home with Michael again and trying to get him to sleep and used to the time difference.

On Tuesday I two Irish ladies living here popped over for coffee which actually turned out to Barrys Tea. That’s the Irish for you. The rest of the week was uneventful. I was so looking forward to Friday and the first week to be over. On Friday one of the lovely Irish ladies collected me and Michael and brought us around the town and showed me all the places that I need to know and then brought me to a baby play date where I met two American ladies with little kids. It was so nice to be out of the house! Friday night was a sleepless night due to a house two doors away having a crazy  house party until after 4am. I was unimpressed to say the least. I’m officially old.

Saturday was unsuccessful house hunting. Four unsuitable unfurnished properties and one amazing house that we loved but that’s out of our budget. I fear that houses may be more difficult to get than we anticipated. I’m really hoping that something will come up soon and we can get moving. Saturday we went to a lovely BBQ hosted by Rob’s work colleagues for our arrival. Everyone is so nice and so helpful. I know they have all been through it as they arrived here so hopefully I can do it for someone in a year when they are new.

Puerto Rico is a strange place and consistency isn’t something that happens often. Grocery shopping is an experience. Some things that we would describe as essentials are crazy expensive. $5.00 for a small container of mushrooms, $7.00 for yogurt, $5.00 for two litres of milk! Yet you can buy a bottle of Bacardi for $8.00!

We went to an outlet shopping centre today and clothing is slightly more expensive than the states but it’s memorial day weekend here so they all had sales on. We went to Chilli’s Restaurant for dinner and Michael got his first balloon. They were super child friendly and they couldn’t have been nicer so we will definitely be going back there again.

Things I learnt this week:

1. It’s always hot. Even when its raining.

2. When it rains, it really rains. Like monsoon rain.

3. Mosquitos are the bane of my life and they love me. I have tried so many different things this week and still every day I wake up with new bites that swell up like crazy.

4. Amazon prime is my new best friend. It’s way too easy but serious damage is being done.

5. My hair does not appreciate the humidity. Not one bit. I’m going to be like Monica from friends for the next two years.

6. They drive like lunatics. U turns, cutting across four lanes, texting while driving… all normal here!

On another note, I followed each update of the Marriage Equality Referendum in Ireland. Ireland, I’m so proud of you.  I cried tears of joy as I watched the videos on Facebook and Twitter of marriage proposals, declarations of love and outpouring of emotion. I’m so glad that now the gay people in my life that I’m so lucky to call friends can be treated as equals in their unions and relationships. Amazing.