Expat Life & Pediatric Healthcare

When we decided to take this expat assignment Michael was still  a baby. He was only 5 months old when we first started discussing a potential move. We really weren’t thinking about what it would be like to have a child abroad as we thought we would be home in two years and that he would be back in Ireland before we would have to think about education, pre school or starting activities.

The reality is that we are enjoying this experience immensely and have committed to Puerto Rico for at least one more year and after that who knows…

He has gone from a chubby cheeky baby to a toddler in the blink of an eye and is now constantly putting on his shoes looking to go outside or to a friends house. He’s bored of Mammy and being stuck in the house. So we looked at our options and decided that Tasis, the international school here in Dorado was the best option for him when he turns three. So he will start Pre Pre K there this august. I’m sure I’ll discuss that in further detail in future posts but for now I would like to focus on healthcare while abroad with kids.

I thought moving here that once we could keep up with his vaccinations and that he had a good pediatrician locally then we were ticking all the boxes. Please keep in mind that as a first time mother I also didn’t know at that point about how much you worry about all the sniffles and coughs and fevers and how much at times I would wish that we had access to a Care Doc system that exists in Ireland. The Irish health care system leaves a lot to be desired at times but it does allow accessible health care to the majority and the Drugs Payment Scheme means that medication is available in lots of cases at a reasonable cost.

Last summer I travelled alone to Ireland with Michael as Rob was tied up here with work. We were home about a week when I went to Galway to visit Rob’s family. On the first morning there I woke up and went to dress him and discovered a rash over his legs. I immediately thought chicken pox but after consulting with a couple of people I was told that they should start on his torso. So I made an appointment with the local GP and I expected to be told that he perhaps had hand, foot and mouth or chicken pox. At this point his hands, knees and ankles were swollen and retaining fluid. The GP advised us after the consultation to go to the A&E dept of UCHG. We were admitted and after stumping a few doctors and some blood work Michael was diagnosed with HSP – an autoimmune condition. He hadn’t been eating well for a couple of weeks and this condition can be brought on by prolonged respiratory infections and he had a mild cough for about a week before we travelled.

This was a bit of a scary situation – mainly because I was away from my husband and it took a while for a diagnosis while doctors are discussing a lumpapuncture, meningitis and liver function but also because I didn’t know the facts about my health insurance. I no longer had VHI and instead had Cigna, international health insurance. The hospital didn’t know if we should be in a private room or if treatment was covered and neither did I. I was charged a larger fee for being admitted through A&E because I wasn’t an Irish resident. It was just more stress on top of being stressed.

It all worked out and we were covered and Cigna paid the hospital bill directly but I was angry at myself for not knowing the facts prior to being admitted. I should have known who to talk to and have the information and paperwork to back it up when on an international trip.

Since then Michael has been prone to colds, fevers and recently a viral infection. If you’re an expat and have kids abroad then you will know how difficult this is. Not only do you not have family close as a sounding board for when to take action but because I don’t speak spanish I have been petrified about having to attend a Puerto Rican hospital.

I have discovered a fantastic service. Michael’s pediatric doctor takes home care appointments and will come to the house for his check ups and yesterday came to check out a persistent rash that he has had due to this viral infection. He had a tech from a local laboratory come to the house afterwards and take a CBC and urine tests. It’s such reassurance as they spoke english and were able to explain everything while I got to keep Michael at home and distract him with his own comforts while being examined and having the bloods taken.

It takes a while to get settled in another country and learn that these services exist. My advice to any expat, particularly with kids, is to have all the documents regarding your health insurance that you need kept together. Be able to show it to a hospital either in your host country or when visiting home should you need to. Alleviate the stress should you end up in a situation where you need to avail of hospital services.

Ask questions… to other moms, doctors, forums, anyone who has lived in your new location and has had to avail of services. Keep all of the information together and don’t have to go and ask the questions when it’s an emergency situation and you’re already stressed. Know your way to the hospital, be able to drive yourself there. Do your research. Michael’s pediatrician is also based here in a hospital and that will be our first point of call should he need hospital care here. All of this was information that I got from other mom’s. You can learn so much from others who have undertaken a similar assignment when you just ask the questions and listen to the answers.

 

 

 

Making a plan..

A few months back I wrote about my personal experience as the trailing spouse and how it has left me feeling deflated about a return to work. I’ve lost confidence in my ability to be more than the care giver.. minding our son and ensuring that there’s shirts ironed and food in the fridge. You can see the original blogpost here….

For my own sanity I need to start getting back in the game and I’m putting on my big girl pants. I’m so afraid of putting myself out there to work again that I need to build up that confidence again. So I’ve started to make a plan…

First of all I’m starting a diploma in Digital Marketing. It will include social media marketing and SEO. I know most of this already but the refresher will do me the world of good. The changes in two years since I was in full time employment have been drastic too so I’m sure there’s something to be gained from this. It’s all distance online learning so it gives me the opportunity to work it around my schedule and Michael and still have time for the activities that we do here and my never ending battle in the gym to some day regain my pre mammy body!

Next on my list are online advanced courses in web and graphic design.. Again skills that I’ve used before but need a little updating. I’m hoping if I have time then before the summer that I may undertake something in photography and/or video editing.

Then when all this is done it will be time to put myself out there again and start using these skills. The plan will be to work from home and freelance but hopefully on long and short term projects. Essentially I would also like to produce a marketing toolkit – a how to guide with basic instructions and guidelines for small businesses. I don’t believe in social media experts and I see people being ripped off constantly so essentially I would like to make this guide available for training purposes and show people how they can do it themselves.

Lastly, I’ve always been passionate about volunteering and charity. I’m meeting with a volunteer from a local orphanage this week to discuss how I can get involved. I’ve committed to run a small fundraiser for them in the coming months as well as some other things in the pipeline. We already support a child in Uganda so I really want to be involved hands on as well as financially.

As scary as this is I need it for my sanity. I need to gain my personal and financial independence. I need to be more than the trailing spouse and I hope by the end of 2017 I will be a long way to doing this. And who said living in the sun was all about cocktails on the beach? Trust me… they’re nice too but I need to be more than just that!

Weekend escape to Paradise

This post has taken me forever to write so I’m hoping I haven’t forgotten loads already but in December, myself and the hubby and a couple of our friends here took a weekend to visit the Puerto Rican island of Culebra to celebrate Rob’s 30th birthday. He’s in the oldie group now!

It’s pretty close to the mainland but not easily accessible. There’s a ferry that runs daily from Fajardo but I’ve read so much about it being unreliable and not worth the hassle that we decided to fly. This was actually a great option. We flew with Vieques Air Link from Isla Grande which was so convenient. It was a small 8 passenger plane and scared the life out of me as a nervous flyer but it was an experience and fun too. It cost about $150 pp return and was so stress free. Except when instead of weighing our bags they weighed us individually at check in… If I had known that was happening I would have been dieting a bit more before hand!

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We rent a house called Villa Pelicano and to be honest I don’t have much good to say about it. It was over priced and just about adequate. The owner gave me a lot of grief for leaving a neutral review on trip advisor and made up random facts that never happened… for example when booking it he upped the price from the original quote and said it was due to demand. I said in my review that there was no one else staying at the villa so it couldn’t have been based on demand. He responded to the review stating that my husband had called him and upgraded us to a different apartment which is untrue! Anyway, if you come across this place maybe avoid for your own sanity. There are lots of nice accommodation options that are within walking distance to beach or the town and this villa isn’t in walking distance of anything. Think it was approximately $1,100 for two nights so much cheaper options available too.

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We rented a jeep for two days from Carlos’ Jeep Rental. Really convenient as they’re based in the airport. It’s mainly Jeep Wranglers available which is kind of cool to experience driving but if your accomodation is in the town then a golf buggy is also a good rental option to get around. The rental was $250 for two days.

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The morning we arrived we visited the highly popular Flamenco Beach. Here you will find lots of huts at the entrance with food and drink options. They only allow plastic glasses on the beach which is great and all in all it was really clean and sufficiently cared for. Lots of people swimming, enjoying themsleves and taking in the sun. It is consistently rated one of the most beautiful beaches in the world and I can see why.

We did some grocery shopping for supplies for the house and there is a really small store in the town and one at a petrol station just outside. Not a huge selection and priced the same as the mainland so if travelling by car on the Ferry I would recommend taking your supplies with you.

That night we dined in Zaco’s Tacos which was really nice. We then went to Dingy Dock for drinks and it was so cool seeing people arrive in their boats and dock up against the bar and go in for a drink. It’s a really small island so everything is pretty accessible.

The next morning we decided to visit Playa Brava. Slightly off the beaten track I would most definitely recommend this beach. It’s about a 20 minute hike through the woods but it’s worth it. There was a total of three other people on the beach when we arrived and they left soon afterwards so we had the entire place to ourselves. The waves were bigger here and the boys were keen to surf if equipment could have been rented on the island but it was very beautiful .

That night we ate in Dingy Dock and there was a wait for a table. The food was pretty average, drinks were good and the service was good but not worth the price tag on the food.

We really enjoyed getting off the mainland for the weekend. It’s a beautiful, scenic island and is probably close to what Puerto Rico was like 20 years ago. Rural and less spoiled. I was really taken back by the amount of Americans I met there that were working. Hearing there stories it seems like people fall in love with the island and end up staying! I can see why.

 

 

 

 

 

One year in….

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So we have been in Puerto Rico for just over a year now. I can’t comprehend just how quickly that time has gone – particularly the last seven months since we were home in Ireland. It’s been a whirlwind and an adventure at the same time.

I think it’s normal with any expat journey to have some challenging experiences when trying to settle into a new country. I’m so settled here now that I think of Puerto Rico as our home. We have a routine and have adjusted to making life work here. And it’s wonderful. I have to pinch myself at times to remind me just how lucky we are to live in such a beautiful country. The beaches, the weather, the friends that we have made here. We have been so lucky to have so many great friends here for support and to have so many laughs with. To be honest without those people our experience would be a lot different and Puerto Rico would be more of a stop gap rather than our home for the next two years.

When thinking back over what we have been through to get to this point of our expat journey there is a number of things that I wish I had known before we started. So here’s my top 10 notes of advice for anyone considering an expat assignment in Puerto Rico but which I’m sure apply to all countries.

  1. Relocation companies suck. Do not rely on them for support or even to know the basics of what they’re doing. Google the hell our of where you’re going and have a back up plan for what you need to do if the company doesn’t deliver on their promises.
  2. Don’t go into any assignment with a set amount of time in your head. They always change. Just be open to the time frame and then there’s no disappointment if it’s shorter or longer.
  3. Make contact where possible with someone who has done a similar move and ask all the questions in the world – forewarned is forearmed.
  4. Do come on a reki – I didn’t and I really wish I had. I just got on a plane and moved and while that added to the excitement it also added to the stress. Take a week to visit and get your bearings. Particularly as a trailing spouse – most likely your partner goes to work after a day and you’re left at home. A week before to find your way around will ease the transition into calling your new location home.
  5. Don’t rush into your long term home or accommodation. We were stressing over not being able to find anywhere to live that we liked due to the incompetent and greedy realtors. The best move we made was booking a house rather than a hotel as our temporary accommodation that we could extend if needed. It allowed us time to get to know the area, seek advice and to find the house that we loved. Best thing we did. We love our house and area.
  6. Relax – it took me a long time to get this one. I was stressed over finding somewhere to live, setting up home, buying everything we needed. Particularly here in Puerto Rico where it’s difficult to get anything done fast. Everything takes time but you’ll get there in the end and guess what? You’ll grow and learn so much about yourself in the process.
  7. Routine – this is the most important one. Short term assignment or long term expat you need to make this new strange location your home. Routine is the only way to do that. Get out there, make plans, particularly if you have kids. All those play dates and coffee dates are now your access to the community around you. For me routine involves working out and having part time childcare in the form of a nanny. Without either of these things I wouldn’t be as happy as I am here. I’m often approached by ladies in the gym looking for a chat – its a great resource for meeting people and the exercise helps with stress relief.
  8. Ship what you can. We decided to just basically come with our suitcases and I miss having our  personal belongings and all my own kitchen items. Making your house feel like your home is an important part of settling into life here.
  9. Take some time out as a couple – plan a night away or date nights after your first month. Most likely your spouse will have been adjusting to a new job and possibly new culture and language and you will have been trying to adjust your entire family and keep it all together. You’ll have been so busy that you won’t have had time to catch your breathe and take stock of where you’re at. Lean on one another for support and talk about what you can do to help the transition for the other one.
  10. Last but not least – Travel. You’re here because you wanted to see more of the world. Because you wanted your kids to experience something new, to see something different. You can’t do that if you stay in one place. Here in Puerto Rico, and especially in Dorado it’s so easy to just stay in our little gated communities where everyone speaks English. That’s a great convenience for every day life but it’s not what you came here to do. Get out, go on day trips, visit other islands. See everything that your new home has to offer. Your time will go quickly once you establish a routine and before you know where you are you’ll be planning your move home or your next assignment. Make sure that you’ll really experienced the place that you’ve been living in.

 

 

Being the trailing spouse….

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I had never heard the expression trailing spouse until this time last year. It’s a phrase I’ve heard over and over again. It refers to the non expat spouse – the one who trails behind with the kids while the expat is one who works. I’ve learnt that trailing means you’re the one that’s usually left to pick up the bits and pieces and organise your lives in both countries – the one you’ve left behind and the one you’re trying to make home.

In most cases and which was true in ours there isn’t really a transition period to settle in before the working spouse starts their new job. In Ireland both of us finished work on a Friday, flew out the Saturday morning, arrived in the middle of the night and Rob started his new job on the Monday. I unpacked the suitcases and boxes and looked after the child. I do understand that this is my role in this journey, to be the home maker per say – but I feel there isn’t enough consideration given to this role when people talk about expat life in general.

The working spouse usually works long hours and this has at times left me lonely with a child and missing my husband. I miss having a purpose outside the home and my own career. I do get to spend so much precious time with our son and we have been unbelievably blessed with the friends that we have made here that it is easier than if we were secluded but being the trailing spouse has also made me an irrational human being.

I read a piece on this recently where it described the trailing spouse as a character ready to blow at the minute. It was a comedy piece but it’s scarily accurate also. Consistency isn’t Puerto Rico’s strong point and at times it can be excruciatingly difficult to do simple things. The irrational trailing spouse blames the working spouse; it’s their fault as they’re the reason that you’re here in the first place. You’ve given up your friends, family and job for them and in that moment of complete despair where you’re thinking how much easier this would be at home you blame them. My poor hubby has been on the recieving end of irrational trailing spouse more than once and I’m surprised at times that he hasn’t booked me a one way ticket home just to shut me up!

I have to keep reminding myself that this is a beautiful island, that my role in our lives here is appreciated, that this is time with my son that money simply can’t buy and that eventually when I go back to work that my career will fall into place and I won’t have to start at the bottom of the ladder again. The irrational trailing spouse in me then counter offers with the fact that we don’t know how long we will be here or where we may possibly end up next and who knows when it will be possible for me to go back to work. And that whenever the move does happen that I will probably be organising it with very little help.  I’ll never regret this time.. I know that for sure…. But it’s not always fun in the sun.

 

 

We are on the move!

So for those of you who know me.. Well you know what this is all about.

I’m Siobhan.. A PR & Event Manager who is married to Rob, an engineer. Last year we welcomed a new addition, the sunshine in our lives and dare I say it, in my opinion, the best behaved little boy in the world, Michael.

In January 2015 I was on my maternity leave and I decided to change career paths and take a new job, venturing in the world of poltics from fundraising. The week that I made this decision, my wonderful husband came home and said that he had an opportunity to relocate… to PUERTO RICO!

Now, I have to say… I didn’t initially give this much thought. I thought this was a passing phase and that when he would look more into it that he would decide that it wasnt for him and that we should stay here. Alas, two weeks later and after a transatlantic phone call it was a done deal. And here we are.

Today is my last day in work. I am about to leave my job as a political assistant, drive to Dublin Airport and fly to JFK before taking a connection to San Juan with a 9 month old baby. We will be living in Dorado. Neither of us speak spanish. We wont know how to drive on the opposite side of the road, have anywhere confirmed to live, know many people or I wont have a job but yet here we go. Just yesterday we got temporary accomodation for a month until we can find somewhere long term. The start of this has been stressful at times, no doubt about it. But.. thats all part of the adventure.

We have connected with some super helpful Irish people already there who have been full of advice and support that we are already indebted to so hopefully the transition will be as smooth as possible.

I’ll be using this blog to keep you all updated on goings on but also as a record of our adventures, the life of expats in the Caribbean.

Wish us luck!